Tale of the Lamb


A Tall Man stands at the desk of a Round Faced Man, who is swinging excitedly on his swivel chair.

Tall Man:  I know – complete nutter.  I mean, I said to him “I don’t even like cats!”

Round Faced Man:  Yeah! There are some real head cases out there.  Complete crazies.  Did you feel threatened? Was he threatening?

Tall Man:  Nah, no not at all.  He was really small.  And also just a freak.  I was really surprised you know?

Round Faced Man:  Yeah! He could have really surprised you – anything could have happened!

Tall Man: Um…

Round Faced Man:  He could have rammed you with his trolley!

Tall Man: Well, actually, he wasn’t pushing a trolley, and…

Round Faced Man:  He could have hit you over the head with a tin of baked beans!

Tall Man: Yes, I suppose…

Round Faced Man: Or a frozen leg of lamb! Like this, like a club!

The Round Faced man begins an energetic mime of beating another person with a frozen leg of lamb.

Tall Man:  Right.

The round faced man continues his mime until his imaginary victim seems to have submitted.  He gives the victim one more blow for good measure, before looking up, hair in his face, to the tall man.  He spits as he talks.

Round Faced Man:  He’s a total nutter right?  A total nutter!

Tall Man:  Yep.  Total nutter.

The Tall Man purses his lips, raises his eyebrows and stands with his hands in his pockets.  The silence is eventually broken by a ringtone.

Tall Man:  That’s my phone.  Better get that.

Round Faced Man:  Course… Hey, great chat.

As the Tall Man reverses out of the office, the round faced man gives a sideways grin, winks and with his thumb and forefinger does an imaginary finger shoot.

The Tall Man smiles fixedly and waves as he leaves, never turning his back on his boss.

In the corridor, he puts his back to the wall and exhales.  He looks down at his phone, which is flashing “Alexa”.


One thought on “Tale of the Lamb

  1. Pingback: Tale of the Goat – Part 2 « BlackSwallows.com

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